Making the Impossible Possible

You think that there's no way you can love Chef Tom Collichio more. You think there's no way Chef Tom can be hotter.

But then the geniuses at Top Chef throw children into the mix. And if you realize that a regular man becomes 10 times more attractive when he is being adorable with a child, then you must realize that now Daddy Tom almost makes my heart explode with his awesomeness.

I mean, he asked a little girl if she made the onions sweat by putting them on a treadmill! Adorable chef humor!

Oh, Daddy Tom. You make my onions sweat just by looking at them.

Iowa is fubar

March 28th - Snow flurries.

April 5th - Gorgeous day, sunny, had to open the window at the rehearsal hall.

April 8th - Snow flurries.

April 10th - Tornadoes!

April 12th - Snow flurries. SNOW FLURRIES.

Today - Gorgeous. Open windows. T-shirt.

And I keep seeing, on the eight tv channels we have, commercials for AT&T. More bars anywhere. Except Iowa.

Hello, lovah

For all you fellow shirtless Gordon Ramsay fans out there.

Thoughts on a Friday night

1. I am so naming my first baby after Gordon Ramsay. If it's a girl, we'll call her Gordie.

2. I wonder how much money I could get if I auctioned my name on eBay.

3. I am currently working in the Middle-of-nowhere, Iowa. Near where the baseball field from Field of Dreams is. Which raises the question - what's more scary - the children or Ray Liotta in the corn?

4. Pshaw.

5. I lied on Beth's blog. My panties are only 94% cotton. 6% spandex. And damn comfortable, thankyouverymuch.

6. Hold on, gotta pee.

7. Holy cow, reduced fat Cheez-Its are good when drunk.

8. American Kitchen Nightmares is lamer than Real Kitchen Nightmares. Gordon, why you no yell so much? Viewer discretion so not needed!

9. It's okay, I will still name my first child after him.

10. Super Target is my new favorite store.

11. And apparently Barefoot Cabernet Sauvignon is awesome wine.

12. Willy nilly!

13. Yes, it's still funny.

14. Oh my gosh, Beth/Wahooty is one of my favorite people in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. That include Gordon Ramsay. (I had to say "one of" because of my boyfriend.) She completes me.

15. I am totally the inspiration.

16. "I was thinking about Cheyenne's legs and then a fork fell on the floor." - Sara Bickwheat

I am a marmot

Wahooty and I decided tonight that I'm a marmot. A rodent, a "ground squirrel," but with a cuter name. See how adorable:
It all started because of my sleep cycle. As it gets later at night, I get more awake, so Wahooty suggested I might be a rodent of some type. I started to protest, but then agreed because I do like to nest. Plus I like cheese. And they hibernate, which I totally would, if I didn't have to have a job and earn money and watch TV. Marmots eat mostly greens, and I like greens. We couldn't think of many super-hero powers I would have as a marmot, except that my voice can get pretty shrill when I'm excited, so possibly I could temporarily deafen (or at least startle) my enemies. And Wahooty said that I could wiggle my nose cutely and charm men. We're ground dwelling creatures, though, so we don't fly. I'd make a good super-hero on The Tick, with my limited abilities. Emmarmot, Wahooty named me.

Wikipedia says that some historians believe that marmots, rather than rats, were the primary carriers of the Bubonic plague, which makes marmots second to mosquitoes as human killers. Always the bridesmaid...

They are of the tribe "Marmotini," which I think would be gin mixed with some elderflower syrup and shaken with ice.

And if this isn't me after eating dinner and settling down to watch some Gordon Ramsay, I don't know what is.














Marmots totally love Gordon Ramsay.

Cats Eating Things

Cat Eating Corn on the Cob


Cat Eating a Melon


Cat Eating Lettuce


Cat Eating Pancakes


Cat Eating a Banana



My cat won't even eat tuna half the time. Maybe I should make her fruit salad, instead.

How do I love thee, Gordon Ramsay?

I caught my inside-my-head voice speaking like Gordon Ramsay today while I was looking for an envelope. I've been watching a lot of the BBC's Kitchen Nightmares since I discovered the joys of the Gordon Ramsay a couple of months ago, so it's understandable that my inundated brain is getting a bit...enamoured. But how could I not love Gordon Ramsay? Let us count the ways...

1. Gordon Ramsay takes his shirt off in every episode of Kitchen Nightmares that I've ever seen. Sure, he has to change into his chef's jacket (with apparently no undershirt,) but he makes sure the camera gets a nice shot of his bare chest while doing so. The funny thing is, though, that on one episode, he changed into his chef's jacket twice, but the second time, we got no chest shot. It's like during the Dick Van Dyke show and Mary Tyler Moore was only allowed to wear her tight pants once every episode so as not to offend the censors.

2. Gordon Ramsay encourages young chefs. The Boyfriend and I always joke about his boy crush for each episode, because he does tend to take a young man (or "big boy") under his wing, so to speak. And there is often hair ruffling and and horseplay and a little winkwinknudgenudge going on. But, although Gordon doesn't hold back when listing their faults, he also gives them chances to show their stuff and plenty of encouragement when he thinks they have promise. And he hardly ever poaches them from the restaurant. Hey, he apologized for that!

3. Gordon Ramsay is not afraid to carry a fat french woman into the ocean whilst he is fully clothed.

4. Gordon Ramsay knows that there is no #4.

5. Gordon Ramsay looks adorable with baby sheep. And then he makes them delicious.

6. Gordon Ramsay doesn't bullshit. You know he revels in a good fight (and I'm not ashamed to admit that it gets me kind of hot when he gets into a shouting match,) and he doesn't pull any punches, but he makes good points, and he takes pleasure in things going well. I always root for the restaurant to turn things around, because it really makes me happy when Gordon goes back and enjoys his meal. He gets a big smile on his face and congratulates everyone. Hey, the fighting and insulting makes for great tv, but the pride makes for warm and fuzzy tv, and then we all win.

7. Gordon Ramsay promotes local products. Local produce, local seafood, local meats. It's not just a good marketing plan and a cost saving deal for the restaurant, and it doesn't just help the local community, it helps the whole PLANET. That's right, Gordon Ramsay loves our planet. Gordon Ramsay and Phillipe Cousteau. Mmm...Phillipe Cousteau...

8. Gordon Ramsay makes me want to run a restaurant. And he makes me think I can do it. I can't, of course, let's not be ridiculous. But I look at some of those idiots and think, hell, I can do better than that. I can at least make creme brulee that doesn't look like baby vomit. That's all I'm sayin'.

Yes, I love me some Gordon Ramsay I only regret that it took me so long to discover this love. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have three seasons of Hell's Kitchen to catch up on.