How do I love thee, Gordon Ramsay?

I caught my inside-my-head voice speaking like Gordon Ramsay today while I was looking for an envelope. I've been watching a lot of the BBC's Kitchen Nightmares since I discovered the joys of the Gordon Ramsay a couple of months ago, so it's understandable that my inundated brain is getting a bit...enamoured. But how could I not love Gordon Ramsay? Let us count the ways...

1. Gordon Ramsay takes his shirt off in every episode of Kitchen Nightmares that I've ever seen. Sure, he has to change into his chef's jacket (with apparently no undershirt,) but he makes sure the camera gets a nice shot of his bare chest while doing so. The funny thing is, though, that on one episode, he changed into his chef's jacket twice, but the second time, we got no chest shot. It's like during the Dick Van Dyke show and Mary Tyler Moore was only allowed to wear her tight pants once every episode so as not to offend the censors.

2. Gordon Ramsay encourages young chefs. The Boyfriend and I always joke about his boy crush for each episode, because he does tend to take a young man (or "big boy") under his wing, so to speak. And there is often hair ruffling and and horseplay and a little winkwinknudgenudge going on. But, although Gordon doesn't hold back when listing their faults, he also gives them chances to show their stuff and plenty of encouragement when he thinks they have promise. And he hardly ever poaches them from the restaurant. Hey, he apologized for that!

3. Gordon Ramsay is not afraid to carry a fat french woman into the ocean whilst he is fully clothed.

4. Gordon Ramsay knows that there is no #4.

5. Gordon Ramsay looks adorable with baby sheep. And then he makes them delicious.

6. Gordon Ramsay doesn't bullshit. You know he revels in a good fight (and I'm not ashamed to admit that it gets me kind of hot when he gets into a shouting match,) and he doesn't pull any punches, but he makes good points, and he takes pleasure in things going well. I always root for the restaurant to turn things around, because it really makes me happy when Gordon goes back and enjoys his meal. He gets a big smile on his face and congratulates everyone. Hey, the fighting and insulting makes for great tv, but the pride makes for warm and fuzzy tv, and then we all win.

7. Gordon Ramsay promotes local products. Local produce, local seafood, local meats. It's not just a good marketing plan and a cost saving deal for the restaurant, and it doesn't just help the local community, it helps the whole PLANET. That's right, Gordon Ramsay loves our planet. Gordon Ramsay and Phillipe Cousteau. Mmm...Phillipe Cousteau...

8. Gordon Ramsay makes me want to run a restaurant. And he makes me think I can do it. I can't, of course, let's not be ridiculous. But I look at some of those idiots and think, hell, I can do better than that. I can at least make creme brulee that doesn't look like baby vomit. That's all I'm sayin'.

Yes, I love me some Gordon Ramsay I only regret that it took me so long to discover this love. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have three seasons of Hell's Kitchen to catch up on.